Tuesday, September 18, 2007

It's mid-September, midway through one of my month-long breaks from Quidam, unsure if this means I am on hiatus from or have rejoined the "real world." Coming back to San Francisco is one great halleluja after my distressing wrestle with China. I need this month to repair and recoup some things seem to have broken or gone missing in Asia, namely, my digestive system, my love of the outdoors, and my sense of tolerance for humanity.

I'm back in my role as professional dilettante. I can really kick my own ass with such self-prescribed tasks as picking up dry-cleaning, reading the NY Times, and buying a new box of bandaids (after my recent cantaloupe-slicing incident). I tell myself to chill, really, but what makes it so impossible is that there are so many WAYS to chill and it can be excruciating to choose how best to fill unstructured time. One problem is that my temporary status makes it impractical to sign up for anything long-term, like book clubs, dance classes, or local activist organizations, all of which I'm eager to be part of in a future where my feet are glued to one spot for more than a couple weeks. For now, it feels like I am peering through a window into a city I will someday fully inhabit.

This break, though, I've definitely made my way closer to becoming a San Franciscan, mastering the public transportation system and spending a significant part of every day on the Muni bus on my way to the SF Circus Center, where I'm working hard to craft an aerial hoops solo act of my very own. I want to have material that isn't copyrighted by Cirque du Soleil, Inc., something I can sell, perform at gigs, and know that it is 100% me. Spending every day at the studio has at least made me a "regular" somewhere and given me some new friends.